Frodo meets the RP boards!
by Pip-aka-Frodoluver
Summary: Frodo meets the 21st century, warning, it's WEIRD!
1. The Beginning

Frodo discovers the RP Boards  
  
Disclaimer: All characters except for Pip, [ME! A SPIN OFF!], Merry [SHE'S a GIRL], Lord, Kiran, Dib, Gaz, Zim, and Gir, are the holy creations of Lord Tolkien. Dib, Gaz, Zim, and Gir are holy creations of the Mighty Jhonen Vasquez.  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
Lord and Pip lazily sat in front of the chocolate factory, or at least the remains of it. Lord, in her dragon form, had managed to rip the roof off, and was happily draining the last vat of melted chocolate. Pip was cleaning off her whiskers, surrounded by about 200 empty chocolate wrappers.  
  
"So, think we should go traumatize Dib?" The giant guinea pip squeaked. "  
  
Eh, let's go bug Zim, I've had enough of Dib's 'experiments' for one day. Lord shuddered. "Alright then." Pip got up, and balancing on her hind legs, cleaned her face.  
  
"No, wait, I've got a better idea," Lord snickered evilly, looking at Pip.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?! DIB LOVES YOU, NOT ME!" she screamed, and ran behind a tree, which looked odd, having a 600lb guinea pig trying to hide behind a tree.  
  
"No, no, I think we should get Frodo, after all, you haven't seen him in what, over a day?" "Yay!!!" Pip bounded out from behind the tree, and nearly bowled Lord down. "Why didn't I think of that?"  
  
"Because you're too stupid to," the dragon stopped, seeing Pip's murderous glare. "You think we should go back to *cough* 'normal'?"  
  
"Normal? What is this word, 'normal' you speak of?" Pip laughed, and shrugged.  
  
"Alright, one Frodo, coming right up, hold the onions!"  
  
"Eww, onions, I hate onions!"  
  
"Yes, yes, fascinating, now SHUT UP! I need to concentrate!" Lord glared.  
  
"Sorry," Pip said sheepishly, one of the rare times in which she mustered up enough self-disgrace to 'look sheepish,' especially hard, since she was in her rodent form. Lord raised an eyebrow, and shook her head. Reaching on hand into random space, she pulled out Frodo. "AAAIIEEE! PUT ME DOWN YOU SPAWN OF SMAUG!!" Frodo fought wildly to get out of Lord's grasp.  
  
"Oh puh-lease, it's just me dammit!" Lord shook her head, and glared at him.  
  
"L-lord? I'm sorry! Don't eat me!" Frodo shrunk back, and quickly put Sting back in it's sheath. "HIYA FWODO!!!" Pip waved a giant paw and bounded over to him, grinned idiotically.  
  
"PIP?! WHAT HAPPENED?!" Frodo, being set on the ground by Lord, was slowly backing away.  
  
"Nothing," she innocently, sounding like Gir. "I just ate one of Zim's experiments. He tricked me."  
  
She glared, and once again, the murderous look returned in her eye.  
  
"Um, ok, but can you go back to being, uh, a hobbit?" Frodo was unnerved by the sight of a 15ft rodent.  
  
"Alright, duh, of course I can," she backed up, and with a pop! a teenaged girl stood next to him, with shoulder-length brown hair, and small glasses. "Wait, something's wrong," she said, looking around. "I KNOW! WE NEED BUNNY EARS!"  
  
"No, Pip. Not the bunny ears!" Frodo tore off, with Pip running after him, cackling insanely. "Hmmm, interesting," said a girl with reddish brown hair and green eyes to Lord's left. "MERRY! HEY!" Lord shook the other hobbit's hand, but managed to shake her whole arm. "'EY! STOP IT! YOU'RE GONNA RIP MY ARM OFF!"  
  
"Ooops?" Lord tried.  
  
"Ugh, dragons!" Merry shook her head and sighed.  
  
"Aww, innit it kewt??" Lord pointed with a claw to Pip, who had tackled Frodo, and was slapping bunny ears on him.  
  
"They make such a couple!" Merry laughed.  
  
"Get off of me, Pip!!!" Frodo yelled, and flailed his arms. "Alright, fine," she jumped back, and waited for him to get up. "Now get these-" he stopped, seeing the look on Pip's face. "No! Don't even think about it!" Pip cackled insanely, and hugged him tightly around the neck. "Gah! Let me go!"  
  
"No!" Pip hung on tighter, Merry was nearly crying she was laughing so hard, and Lord wiped away a fake tear.  
  
"So touching!" Merry went over to them, and pulled on one of the bunny ears.  
  
"Hey! Stop it, Merry!" Frodo pinned the ears to his head with his hands, then looked up. What he saw, nearly made him jump back.  
  
"What-what is that?!" he said, pointing at the sky.  
  
"What?" Pip asked.  
  
"Those, those, ropes...?" he tried, pointing at the silver cables and wires, intercrossing each other in the "sky."  
  
"Duh, that's the internet," Merry said. "Don't you know anything?"  
  
"Of course he doesn't, he's from Middle Earth, doi,' Lord said, munching on a forgotten chocolate bar.  
  
"The internet? What's that?" Frodo looked throughly confused.  
  
"The internet," Pip started, in the tone of a museum director. "Oh, come on Pip, don't lecture us!" Merry rolled her eyes at her, knowing that she was about to launch into one of her very fast talking, very long, pointless lectures. Pip rolled her eyes back.  
  
"The internet is a connection between a single user's computer and-  
  
" PIP!" Merry and Lord said in unison.  
  
"Alright, alright! Basically, the internet is like, um, well, what is it like Lord?"  
  
"Uh...it's like a cross between a telephone, and a mall."  
  
"A tele-what?" Frodo shook his head. "This is getting confusing."  
  
"A telephone. Kinda like talking to someone next to you, only, they're a lot further away," Pip said. Merry yawned  
  
. "Now that we've told Past Boy here." Pip gave her a death glare.  
  
"Ok, ok, Frodo, about the internet, and what a phone is, can we go bug Dib?"  
  
"Sure, whatever," Pip said, still hanging off of Frodo's neck.  
  
"I've got a better idea," Lord said.  
  
"What?" Pip muttered something about liking Lord better when she was clueless.  
  
"Let's go flood the Neopet RP boards, you know, knock some sense into those idiot ditzes and dumb jocks.  
  
"OK!" Pip smiled evilly at Frodo. "You'll like the RP boards, you have lots of fans there." "Fans? What do you mean, 'fans?' Am I famous or something?"  
  
"Well, yeah!" Merry said, in a preppy voice. "Your, like, Frodo Baggins, the Ringbearer!"  
  
"YOU MEAN EVERYONE KNOWS?!" he bellowed, and glared at Pip.  
  
"WHAT?! I didn't tell them anything! There are just three books written about you."  
  
"About me?" Frodo didn't know whether he should be proud or appalled.  
  
"Yeah, plus a movie. You're played by Elijah Wood," Pip sighed happily.  
  
"He's so cute!" Merry giggled.  
  
"A movie?" Frodo looked even more confused  
  
"Pictures that move," Pip explained.  
  
"Pictures?"  
  
Merry sighed, and half wondered what would happen if he saw a car.  
  
"Elijah Wood? Who's that?"  
  
"Some dumb-" Lord stopped, wondering when she'll ever learn not to insult him when Merry and Pip were around. "It doesn't matter, come on." Lord reached her hand into an invisible hole, and pulled.  
  
  
  
Ok, ok, so it sucks, SUE ME! I don't care! 


	2. Entrance way to the boards

Chapter 2:  
  
Suddenly, Frodo found himself in what looked like a totally empty room, all white, with no windows or furniture, just one big black door. It sounded like a million voices talking at once. "Where the heck am I?" he yelled at the air.  
  
"You're at the entrance way to the Boards," Pip said, landing next to him, then slipping. He helped her to her feet.  
  
"Aww, innit kewt?" Lord pointed to Frodo, who was clutching Pip's arm.  
  
"Ugh." Frodo glared, and let go of Pip quickly. Pip didn't seem to care, one way or another. "What did I miss?" Merry asked, falling over onto Lord.  
  
"Nothing," Lord said airily. Before she could say anything else, Frodo looked at her.  
  
"Don't you think you should transform back?" he asked.  
  
"Oh, yea. Think it's actually worth it, Pip?" Pip shrugged.  
  
"Dunno." Merry opened the door, and pushed Frodo through it. He was almost immediately tackled by Kiran.  
  
"Aaah! What the hell?"  
  
"Kiran, get off of him! That ain't  
  
'Lij, it's Frodo!" Pip glared.  
  
"Oh..." Kiran jumped back, and blinked.  
  
"He looks like 'lij, Pip, you're not playing a trick on me, are you?"  
  
"Nope! Frodo's mine!"  
  
"Who's 'lij?" Frodo asked dully.  
  
"Elijah Woods," Kiran and Pip said in unison.  
  
"Oh...." he said slowly. "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Kiran, and welcome to the RP boards!"  
  
  
  
ok, I know this chapter is really short, but I need to talk to Kiran before I do anything else... 


End file.
